funny poker jokes

Dog Gone Poker

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog.", the man commented.
"Not so smart," said one of the players. "every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

Bill Gates get's a Poker Lesson

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter greets him at the pearly gates and says, "Bill you're such a unique individual that we've decided to give you a choice between heaven and hell."Bill thinks about this and asks if he can get a look at the two options. St. Peter says, "Sure, I've got a couple of windows you can look through." So he opens the window to heaven and Bill sees lots of angels sitting on clouds plucking harps. Peter then opens the second window to hell. It's a brightly lit casino ?lots of people drinking, laughing, and having a good time. There are naked dancing girls on stage and in the corner a nice little poker room. Doyle, Mike and other poker greats are playing Bill's favorite $3-$6 Hold'em. There's an empty seat with chips and they wave at Bill to come join them in the game. Bill tells Saint Peter that he's decided that hell looks like its more fun than heaven and he wants to join the poker game. Saint Peter snaps his fingers and Bill's wish is granted.
Well about 6 months go by and Saint Peter decides to see how his friend Bill is doing. He opens the window to hell and there is Bill shacked by his ankles, hanging over a fiery pit. Peter asks him how he likes his new home. Bill says, "Saint Peter, this isn't anything like you showed me. What happened?" Saint Peter responds, "Sorry Bill, I thought you realized that was just the demo version".